The other day, in conversation with one of my women’s groups, I was reminded of how much I love myself. Somehow in our discussion, the invitation was to be given permission to be anyone else in the world. After the work my group had done for themselves I was in admiration of how much we were proud of who we are and how much we want to “be” who we are. That speaks volumes in the power of finding the self that we are so meant to love.

I have yet to run a Journey Within workshop without having participants excited to really really know what they are passionate about and be energized to start including it more in the life they want to live. From here the grounding of who we are in identifying our values only makes us more aware of how we are valuing them in our choices and in our lives on a daily basis. And then to walk out with a statement declaring to ourselves and the world, why we are here and how to move forward with such purpose just puts the icing on the cake. It is no wonder we end up loving ourselves so much. We are pretty darn fantastic if you ask me. I love my life and I know who I am. Even in the challenges life throws at me, I am so much more able to know, deep down in my soul, what choices I need to make. What vibrational power that gives us. I love me and I invite you to love yourself!

When was the last time you listened to your body; I mean, really listen to it? Did you voluntarily listen to it or did it have to cry out for your attention? It is not atypical for us to ignore our body’s messages for fear that if we do pay attention to it, we may just have to acknowledge it and do something about it. “Who’s got time for that? Besides, these pains are normal. They will go away.”

The last 3 weeks, my body has been speaking to me loud and clear. I was hit by the virus that is going around with sore throat, ear ache, hacking annoying cough and body aches. My immune system is usually pretty strong and for some reason my body decided to rebel. I was truly given no choice but to give in to it’s demands of rest and self nuturing. My mother kept telling me to take something for it, go get anibiotics etc. Most of us are so quick to look for a quick fix to the ‘feeling’ of discomfort and not willing to take the time to listen.

During that time I looked at the patterns of behaviour my body tends to take on. What I noticed was that when I begin a conscious intent of looking after myself, by paying attention to my nutrition and working out with a personal trainer, my body starts to give me grief. It either decides to get sick or I will pull a muscle which slows down my workout intensity etc. I notice that my immediate reaction is to get ‘pissed off’ and go into the victim mode of ‘why me?’ I start to tell myself that it isn’t fair and ask myself, “Why is it everytime I go to do something right, somebody (my body) has to make it difficult for me? What’s it trying to tell me?” Luckily I have done enough personal work to stop myself from entertaining the victim in me and begin to listen. I take my suit of armour off and embrace what it is wanting to tell me. It is not only me on an intellectual level that needs help and support to step into eating properly and moving more through exercise but my body needs help too. It is no different than me in wanting to resist change, no matter how unhealthy my previous choices may have been. It knows the comfort of pain and sometimes enjoys the comfort of a pain killer when it wants attention. “So why are you doing this to me?” it might ask. It too likes to be a victim of it’s circumstances.

So, I have come to learn that not only do I need the help and support but so does my body. And so with kindness, tenderness and good loving intention I am able to help it by naturally providing it with natural anti inflammatories and immune boosters etc to aid in the gentle acceptance of the love I provide it. Like any relationship, whether with someone else or yourself, a dose of listening, truly listening, can go a long way.

I have recently had some challenges that have taken me to some deep dark places. I bless these moments for they keep me connected with myself and the greatness of all those connected with me. When I feel off balance it affects not only me but all those around me and the universe as a whole. When you look at the Royal Wedding and how many millions of people were vibrationally connected to one event, you know that we are ONE in relation to everything. So if my pain is vibrationally affecting others then I am able to pull the positive vibrations from others and our greater force to heal my own wounds. I share with you the poem I wrote at one of my low times and know that I am at peace thanks to all of you.

Believe

When the pain seems so strong that it buries me alive
How can I see the light that wants me to survive?
Somewhere a heart beats for me
A beat that wants to set me free
And when I cannot hear that beat
I must believe and let go of self inflicted defeat

At times when I think I can no longer breathe
I chose to focus on what I have
And it gives me the strength to find your heartbeat
Reaching out to make me thrive. 

No matter how hard it may seem
I know I can let go of the bar of pain
And grab the bar of possibilities
I will never be alone
I will always be ONE with you by my side

I believe my perceptions hold me back
I believe I am stronger than that
For if I believe it will be so
Join me, hold me, who knows where we can go

I can only see what I believe in
And nothing else can exist
When I believe
When I believe

When the pain seems so strong that it buries me alive
How can I see the light that wants me to survive?
Somewhere a heart beats for me
A beat that wants to set me free
And when I cannot hear that beat
I must believe
And so I believe

Osama bin Laden’s Call for Love

The reaction to Osama bin Laden’s death brings a lot of energy to the pain in the world and the focus on more pain to come. My interest is not in giving more energy to a clearly disturbed human being but to the victims who are so desperately trying to heal their pain. Three things are clear to me, and are a must for victims to hear if they want to heal. Do you want to heal or do you want to be right?

The first clarity is ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. Whether we have been a victim of something as big as a war or as small, to some of us, as the way someone spoke to us from a customer service department, we want to be acknowledged. We have a need to be heard and with my experience, we will not let go until we feel we have. We want others to know how ‘bad’ it was and how we are good and do not deserve this; and if we feel they don’t understand that, we have a problem letting go.

The second is PAIN. We hold onto it in our memory which in turn is held in our body. Our body takes on the stress of these memories and has been proven to create illness as serious as cancer. We have learned to ignore these messages that our bodies give us and focus on the internal or external voices that overtake us.

The third is a CRY FOR LOVE. Under every emotion is the human need for love. No matter what we feel, we are truly asking to be loved for who we are, regardless of whether we have been hurt, feel ignored or have even committed a crime ourselves; we are looking for attention. Being in this place of ‘victim’ DOES serve us. Some ask what makes me think anyone would chose to be a victim and the answer is simple…we may get acknowledged and even feel loved, even if only for a short second. And it is a lot easier to ‘complain’ about our victimization then it is to do the work needed to heal.

I know that in hearing this, many victims will become defensive and even say “How dare you make me wrong. I am the one who has been victimized and you have the nerve to blame me?” Trust me; I know the feeling of hurt at that present moment as I have been there. A victim of sexual assault and a family member who died in concentration camp, I have felt the pain and still get reminded of it. The difference is that, through a lot of personal work, I have come out never forgetting the past, choosing to learn from it and heal my body from the memories. I know that victims can come out victorious and that is the message I chose to send from the death of Osama bin Laden.

Namaste!